Ok... What's wrong now?

Have you ever had one of those friends that is always having a bad day? Always complaining about work? Always in drama with something? (Now when you think of this person hopefully the person you're thinking of isn't me lol).

 I consider myself a pretty good friend (most times). And when a friend of mine is going through an issue I try to be there as best as I can. But after a while of hearing complaint after complaint from the same person without one praise report or testimony of some type of deliverance, I will get tired.

 We all have issues, problems, drama, stress, conflict, etc. I get that. But I also believe the storm isn't ongoing. We have so much to be grateful for. And whatever issue we endure, recognize there is always someone out there going through 10 times worse, who is no better than you. 

Regardless of my stress I will maintain a smile on my face and faith in my heart knowing that in the end all things work for my good... Even the bad things.

Food for thought

Breaking The Silence

I was upset. Writing is my outlet. My previous post was not to get revenge on anyone but to shed light on what happened to me. Apparently I shook some ground and was even asked by a leader in the church to take the blog post down. Now if I am speaking the truth why should I?

This situation has brought an ongoing issue to my attention. Bullying. People are bullied everyday. Whether it is physical, verbal or emotional, bullying is an issue that so many deal with on a daily basis. Statistics show that an estimated that 160,000 children miss school every day due to fear of attack or intimidation by other students. (Source: National Education Association). Over fifty percent (50%) of the adult population has reportedly experienced some form of violence at work, at home and in the community. In my opinion, the first step to ending bullying is actually speaking out and speaking against it.

My situation is far less severe than what others are going through. My kindness unfortunately was taken for a weakness and because I am out here alone, I was being taken advantage of. I spoke out so that maybe it wouldnt re-occur with someone else in the church.

If you are being intimidated by, threatened or bullied by anyone no matter what position of power or leadership they may be in, don't be afraid to report it and speak up. It's silence that will have the cycle continue. Break the silence.

I'm a Whore?

"That's why you're a whore. That's why your ex doesn't want you. That's why you're alone." 

Words spoken to me by the first lady of my church in Knoxville, TN. Yes ladies and gentleman the pastor's wife who up until yesterday was a role model and mentor to me, spewed those words from her "sanctified" mouth. Her and her husband had a few counselling sessions with me. I can recall them saying "you can trust us", "What's said in our sessions stay here", "We are not here to judge, we are here for you" (Insert Halo Here). I guess those words of reassurance went out the window once she was faced with conflict. 

It all started with a dress (This is such a long story but I'll try to make it short and sweet). As some of you know I sell dresses. She needed a dress for the church's yearly valentines day dinner. Being that she was such a help to me through difficult times, I did not want to charge her the retail price for the gown. I didnt want to make any profit off of her whatsoever. So she paid the wholesale price. A whopping $60.00 (Sixty dollars... side eye). I asked her for her size and she confidently told me Size 8. Before I ordered the dress, I asked her two more times just to make sure I was ordering the right size. 

So the dress comes in. I deliver the package to her and stay to help her try it on. As it turns out the dress does not fit. Wholesalers do not accept returns but I really wanted her to have a nice dress for the dinner so the next order I paid for out of my pocket. 

While waiting for the order, I received multiple texts daily regarding the status of shipment. I knew she just wanted to receive her dress on time so I provided her the tracking number to ensure that it was on it's way. She stated that she is the customer and giving her updates was MY job. I was confused slightly because I didn't view her as a customer. I viewed her as a friend that I wanted to do a nice favor for. But I brushed off the seemingly rude remark. So the dress comes in. Not even opening the box I hand it to her husband, relieved that it came just in time. But this time the wholesaler sends me the wrong size. It's a size 14, now too big. By this point "my mentor" is upset and wants a refund. I suggested that she may be able to take the dress to a tailor for a quick close. As stunning as that dress was it would be a shame not to wear it. She declines my suggestion and states she wants a refund.

Because she told me the wrong size, and I had to pay out of pocket for the second dress, as it turns out I wouldnt have been able to give her a refund. When I relayed this information to her she immediately became abrupt, rude and even threatened me. Stating if I don't refund her money then I can find a new church to go to. Since when could a member be kicked out of his/her church for a misunderstanding unrelated to the church? She also threatened me stating that if I didnt show up with her money then I will see what would happen to me. I took it all as empty threats. I assumed she was just angry and needed to cool off. I figured we could discuss the issue and come to a compromise. I thought wrong. 

On Sunday (which was yesterday) As I excused myself to go to the bathroom, she cornered me demanding her money. And when I repeated my suggestion for resolution she became hostile. Using her hands to physically block my path to the restroom. I became upset repeatedly telling her not to touch me, and asking her how could a woman of her position, a woman of God, The First Lady of the church act in such a manner. She replied with "that's why you're a whore. That's why your ex doesnt want you. That's why you're alone." Her manner was beyond believable to me. This was the same woman lifting her hands and praising God moments ago. 


As angry as I became all I feel is bad for her and pray for her soul. She is a woman that is one of the Church's spiritual leaders. She teaches workshops and bible studies in the church. She even taught a class for young girls to teach them how to embody the Proverbs 31 woman WITH ME as her co-teacher. I could have called her out of her name. I could have tried to hurt her the way she did me. But I realize I'm better than that. And I'm absolutely not who she says I am. She's just another person with an opinion. It's just sad that she is put in a spiritual leadership position when she in my opinion is not in the right state of mind. As expected I'm moving forward. I have my whole life ahead and so many opportunities just waiting for me while in her 50's, she holds on to what little youth she has left (Did I throw some shade just now? Maybe a little :-p). And my life continues fabulously ;-)