She's Gotta Have It: Dating

A friend of mine and I were catching up with one another via phone since we haven't gotten a chance to hang out in a few months. With life getting so busy and our schedules conflicting, we settled for a brief chat during our lunch. My friend proceeded to fill me in on her dating life and shared that she is currently dating 3 different men. She described each man's character, sent me photos so I could get a clear visual, and also wanted my feedback on the gentlemen. We discussed potential pros and cons of each guy and it's understood that she is going to continue her dating journey and enjoy life while doing so.

I always found dating fascinating. Why do you ask? Well... I don't know how to date. I think back on my single days and I realize I've never really dated anyone. This was how my interaction with a man I was interested in went: I see you, I like you, we are in a relationship. I can't wrap my head around consistently spending time with more than one man and not knowing who I ultimately want to be with. 

Some may reason that dating multiple people speeds up the process of finding "the one", Mr. or Ms Right. But then again, isn't it a possibility that it could prolong the process? If the woman isn't exclusive and neither is the man, wouldn't that make deciding to be exclusive harder especially if you have multiple great people that you're dating? If you've created a bond with more than one person at a time, I would assume cutting them all off and choosing one would be difficult. Unless you're in a situation where only one proves worthy and the others are mediocre. I don't know how my gal pal is able to handle it but I'm sure over time she will figure out what is best for her.

How do you ladies and gents go about dating? Do you date one person at a time or go on dates with several different people? How has either method worked for you?


Love & Light 

Kenya Moore: Clear Skies After The Storm

Just 4 years ago Kenya Moore was reeling from a breakup that at one point she thought was going into a positive direction. Talks of marriage and babies filled the air as the Real Housewives star was planning her future with her then beau James Freeman. With the devastating discovery that the man she met through Millionaire Matchmaker was already married, Ms Moore pushed through and kept hope alive that she would one day find her soulmate. I was all over that story 4 years ago and applauded Kenya for her positive attitude and optimism (Click HERE to read previous post). Fast forward to present day, the former Miss USA is happily married and looking fabulous on the beach 11 weeks after giving birth to her first child and Celebrating her 48th birthday.

This personal triumph did not happen overnight. The now Mrs Daly went through a couple more frogs before finally meeting her prince. But the point is through heartbreak and failure in previous relationships, she never lost hope, she continued building herself and she allowed her heart to be open  to love when it came. We never know what life will have for us while on our journey, but what is important is that we do not settle or give up on any of our dreams or goals that are important to us. This is a real life example of how staying focused on what you desire for your life can bear fruit. And  from the looks of her blessing, her beared fruit is the sweetest.

Love & Light

When opportunity DOESNT Knock

The old adage, "When opportunity knocks, answer". A saying encouraging us to go for it when new, exciting and lucrative fortuity presents itself. But what happens when opportunity doesn't knock? When every road you take leads to a dead end. When no callback comes after submitting hundreds of applications. What do you do then? The me of the past would say that if the opportunity hasn't arrived yet, or if I missed an opportunity or I wasn't chosen, then that must mean something better is on the horizon and will come in it's time. I just would have to keep my eye on the prize and keep pushing. The me now laughs at that form of conflict resolution.

Why should I wait for opportunity to find me. Why should I wait for someone to recognize my talents? If opportunity doesn't knock, create your own opportunities. State what your goal is and take the steps to make it happen. You want to be discovered as an actor? Start your own online series. Singing is your passion? Start writing, recording and promoting your music. You want to get paid to travel? Start a travel blog and write about every place you visit even if it's different cities in your state. You want to be a gourmet chef for a high end restaurant or even own a restaurant? Start cooking those gourmet foods and share photos of them on social media, hold tasting events, cater your friend's small dinner parties or even start selling your gourmet creations at a low cost. And so what if you are starting small. At least you are starting and that small start will lead to big success if it's backed by genuine passion and perseverance.

Whatever you have in your mind to accomplish you don't have to wait for someone to give you a stamp of approval. Your success starts with you. Brainstorm ways to make your dream a reality. Visualize your goal and begin making a list of how you can bring it to fruition. Start to execute the steps on that list. Get creative! Now go make things happen! No more time to waste. No more dreaming without action. No more dead new year's resolutions. Make your existence on this earth one of excitement, joy and satisfaction.

Go forth and be great!

Love & Light

Do You Play Build-A-Man?

Dear Rising Roses, have you ever played "Build-A-Man"?

In the dating game as a woman, I have observed one common mistake among many of my fellow sisters. We meet a man that we may be interested in, make the decision to date after getting to know him for a short period, immediately recognize what we like about him, and make it our mission to change what we don't like about him. This "I'm a fix him" mentality has to come to an end.

In the "fix it" relationship we start to invest. Give all of ourselves and sacrifice with the hopes that this man will become the prince charming we have been looking for with a little... or a lot of our help. We groom, invest, pay off his debts, and show him how great of a wife we are though ring-less (side eye). And sometimes all that hard work we put in starts to pay off. You see he's changing, improving, excelling... everything is seemingly great... Until it's not. Until he tells you you're not the one. Then a few months to a year later he's married off to another woman, being the great man that YOU built him to be... but for someone else. I know some of you can tell me some stories of this exact situation you or one of your girlfriends went through.

This coming new year I challenge you all to stop playing "Build-A-Man". Instead of focusing on how you can improve a potential mate, set your sights on what you can do to improve yourself. Think about it... You spend all this time completing him to your standard and when he has reached that standard and looks to you, are you even meeting the same criteria? Then you become surprised when he looks to his left and sees a woman who is complete all on her own. Your focus should be working towards being the best version of you that you can be. Your potential mate doesn't need you to complete him or vice versa. We should be complete without the need of a man's companionship and our mate should be a compliment to our completion.

I'm NOT saying you should be selfish in your relationship. Just do not consistently do for someone that they can clearly do for themselves. It will cripple you both in the long run. Instead, be each other's motivation and encouragement. Be that push for each other to get things done. Set goals and check in with each other towards the completion of those goals. Challenge each other towards progression individually and as a couple. Doing it this way you will be more so grateful for the growth instead of bitter in the case things do not work out.

And if you're in a situation where you are already in the middle of the Build-A-Man game, it's never too late to hit the "game over" button and start the Build-Each-Other version.


Love & Light Rising Roses

The Importance of Sexy: What Every Woman Needs To Feel

Jacket: www.shopgesphania.com Photo Cred: QREV Production

What is it about being sexy? That moment when everything about you is just on point and has you feeling some type of way. When a woman has that "I'm sexy" moment, her walk is different. She marches to the beat of a different drum and can't anyone tell her otherwise. Why is it important for a woman to feel sexy? In a system where society is over sexual, it is a challenge for a woman to express and explore her sexy without being labeled as promiscuous. But what is sexy really? What if I told you it's more than what meets the eye initially?

Being able to feel sexy doesn't necessarily mean flaunting your intimate areas with a front row seat audience. Sexy is also a moment of self acknowledgement. Being aware and appreciative of your natural beauty. Being conscious of the power and influence we have as women because of our sex appeal, and using that power to positively influence others. For example, naturally society tends to give more attention to attractive people than those they find less attractive. As a woman, you automatically have the attention of the opposite sex. Because you are aware that your appeal commands this attention, there is a possibility of having an impact on those that find you aesthetically pleasing. Feeling sexy exudes confidence, self esteem and a unique energy that can permeate one's surroundings.

A great way to hone into your sexy is taking time to pamper yourself. And I'm not just talking about bubble baths and spa days (though those are great too), I'm also referring to pampering your insides by eating healthy and exercising. Pampering your mind by reading books (NOT of the 50 shades variety). Pampering your spirit through prayer and meditation. Being aware of current events and what's going on in this world. It is important that your inner self compliments your fabulous outer appearance.

To be a well rounded woman that works on her being in every aspect, you will find confidence encompassing that woman. She will no longer have the desire to put forth the effort of sexiness for she is sexy and she knows it. In turn she will know how to utilize her sexy to push her agenda in all avenues.

So now that you have a better understanding, I would like you to look at the areas of your life lacking that sexy spark. Is it your physical health? Your mind? Hygiene? Physical appearance? Whatever it is, work on it, nurture it and use it to it's highest positive potential.

Love & Light Rising Roses

Divorce Parties: What's That About?

So I watched a clip of The Real Housewives of Atlanta on my timeline in where Kenya decides to throw Phaedra and Cynthia a party. It wasn't for a birthday, new baby, career promotion or anything that you would think is typically celebration worthy. This party was a Divorce party. Both of these ladies were going through a divorce with their husbands.

Now I have heard of a divorce party before. There are actually those who have elaborate divorce celebrations decorated with broken chains, broken hearts and cake toppers with the head cut off. But this is one celebration I have never understood. Divorce is an unfortunate occurrence in our society. It's when two people who publicly made the decision to become a unit, decide to permanantly separate for reasons of pain, hurt and betrayal usually.

I believe those who have a divorce party use this event as a way to publicly announce liberation from an unpleasant life with their former. An exhale of sorts. Preparing for life as a single person. Even still, the party will not change the process. It is just a temporary cover for their pain. The process of healing and moving forward in a new routine will still take time. There will still be moments of hurt even after the streamers hit the floor and the last slice of cake is served.

This legal action should not be something to celebrate no matter who was at fault, who hurt who or even if it was a mutually cordial decision. Those who experience divorce should instead reflect on how they can grow from it. How they can become better and improve in all aspects. How they can learn from their mistakes and make their next marriage (if they choose to marry again) a solid one.

Would you ever have a divorce party? If so why? Or for those who have had divorce parties, did it truly benefit you? Let me hear your thoughts!

Do You Fall For The Media Hype?

Photo Cred: QREV Production

In the last 10 years social media has been on a take over. It is a chance for people to network, reconnect, have a platform and reinvent themselves. Some people have a total alter-ego on their pages. Makeup, weaves, contouring, waist trainers and more! Your page is a place where you can sprinkle glitter and make your life shine more than your reality. This has viewers hooked onto the fabulously seeming lives of the beautiful faces they follow. Though I am all for creativity and one using their page however they see fit (as long as they are not doing anything to harm others or themselves), I can't help but to notice the real life influence social media has using the unrealistic life of it's popular members.

For example... You're scrolling through your timeline and there she is, that celebrity you adore. She's so pretty, you love her personality, if you could look like her you would but since you can't you click the link of the current product she's promoting. You know the one she swears she's always used to help her look the way she does? Some tea that helps keep her tummy flat, weave that magically never tangles, or maybe a bracelet that she says she wears with every outfit. It doesn't really matter what it is. All that matters is her name is attached to it. So you buy it hoping it will bring you one step closer to being as fabulous as her. And you're excited to use it until... next month you see she promoting something new. Another "must have" in your mind. And the cycle continues.

How do I even know about this cycle? I used to be a mindless link clicker. Sometimes I'd buy whatever it is that pretty face is selling (confession, my weakness was Draya), other times I'd have a reality check and back away from my computer. Since I often question all my actions, one day I asked myself, does she even use that really? The business woman bulb suddenly went on and I realized more times than not the celebrities, Instagram stars, and YouTube pioneers promoting all kinds of products don't really use them. They are being paid to pretend or paid to use them for a certain contracted period by companies who know their followers will bite the bait every time without fail.

Most of the times these companies paying your favorite celeb a few thousand dollars are already well on their way to being a multi-million dollar company while you, the consumer, are pulling together all your coins to buy $45.00 flat tummy tea... TEA (side eye).

I say all of this to remind you to not set your standards via social media personalities or any standard media sets for that matter. Your value, your worth, your beauty is not determined by a product and products are not better quality because a pretty face's name is stamped on it for the moment. I am not telling you not to shop your favorite products or to stop following your favorite celebrity. I just want to make sure you are aware of the cycle you may be in so you can make conscious decisions moving forward without the influence of those you adore.

Now before I click that link I ponder on where my money is going and who I am supporting. Am I helping a small business or black owned business put food on the table for their family? Is a percentage from the proceeds of my purchase going to a worthy cause? Or am I giving a part of my check to a multi-millionaire that doesn't really need my coin? Questions you should ask yourself next time you're scrolling and see that brand new thing.

Exercise: It's More Than Just Looking Good

Photo Cred: QREV Production

During the busy work week in the midst of deadlines, scheduling, errands, planning and just organizing daily life, there is one day, mid-week that I look forward to. That day is Thursday. Why? No I'm not waiting to drink in celebration of "Thirsty Thursdays", I'm not waiting for the clock to strike midnight so I can be the first to post an old photo for "Throwback Thursday", I am not even apart of the people excited for their favorite Thursday night show to come on (sorry Scandal). Why does Thursday excite me? It is the day my workout begins.

Thursday and Friday and I set aside a few hours to hit the gym. Now I did not always have this discipline. Being relatively small all my life (and when I say relatively I really mean I was scarily skinny), exercise was the last thing on my mind. Just walking up one staircase I worried I would be 5 pounds lighter by the time I reached the top. I avoided losing weight so physical health was not a top priority. Until my body started to catch up with my age. In less than 2 years I put on 35 pounds. I love and embrace the new figure but to make sure it doesn't get out of control, I opened a gym membership.

Now at first my only excitement to joining a gym was the idea of wearing cute workout gear. I looked the part but did not look forward to the process. Contrary to all of those Gatorade commercials where the athlete makes it look so easy and inspiring, exercise hurts and it's hard. At least that was my initial experience. I complained, I made faces of frustration, I stopped every two seconds, I ran to the water cooler every chance I got. Don't laugh at this rookie!

But over time my body began to like the pressure. Now I'm not saying it became painless but I enjoy the challenge of surpassing previous limitations. It became more than just shaping by body. Exercise is a release. In my mind, the machines and the equipment represent the obstacles and the barriers that may present themselves in life. And pushing myself past what I think is my limit represents me knocking down those walls.

My favorite machine is the treadmill. On that machine I'm a track star (in my head). Can't no one tell me nothing! Every time I feel my legs burning, instead of stopping, I visualize my life journey. All the hurdles set forth in attempt to deter me from reaching the finish line. With that thought I push harder. I clench my jaw, I squint my eyes and I BEAST that treadmill! When my timer goes off and the race for that moment is over, I walk away feeling triumphant and encouraged to tackle life in the same manner.

Exercise may help you attain and maintain physical attractiveness, but it also does a work in you on the inside. You not only look good but you feel good physically, mentally and even spiritually. We work so hard on reaching our financial, educational and personal goals, but do we take the time to nurture our bodies, our temple? And it takes more work than adorning that figure with the latest attire, rocking the newest shoes and getting glam with our newest matte lippie. We must make it priority to work the inside out as well.

As hard as it may feel, the great thing about it is we will not only be metaphorically kicking life challenges' butt, we will also be keeping our health in check, adding a boost to our spirit and looking great while doing so! What is there not to love about that!

With all this being said, for those pushing past the limit either at the gym, consistently taking runs in your city or putting in work at home, I salute you and your drive. Keep going! For those who want to start exercising, make plans to start today! You can do it! And yes it will hurt, yes you will feel pain and scream at times (I by the way scream every time), But it will be worth it. I am cheering you on!

3 more days until Thursday! I am ready.

The Friendship Evolution: Defining What Genuine Friendship Is As You Grow

A few of my friends (Some are missing up there but eh couldn't fit everybody LOL). Y'all ROCK! xoxo

I value friendship. Not just any friendship. Genuine friendship. I am like a broken record when it comes to this core value. If you follow me on Facebook, it's my disclaimer whenever I am posting a photo with someone I call friend. As I am growing, I am starting to realize and recognize during my life journey, not everyone who I meet on my path are here for the long haul. The dynamic has definitely changed over the years especially during the transition from my 20s to 30s.

In my 20s my circle was slightly larger. I was open to meeting new faces and giving "new" friends a try. We had to have something in common. Whether it's work, school or similar social circles. I found myself sharing my time, my personal life and even a few of my tears with people who seemed to be potential lifelong friends. It was not until my surroundings changed that I started to see less and less of those now not so new faces.

Many of these friends I met through former relationships. When in a relationship, of course, everyone wants to get to know the new special someone. With introduction, opened a whirlwind of get-together's, dinners, road trips, heart-to-hearts, reassuring dialogue, comforting hugs, text messages, phone calls, check-ins, photo ops, social media tags, wall posts, favors, laughs, cliques, tea and all sorts of bonding with my new group of friends. It was great! For years mind you. And then when the relationship ends and I make my exit, I was left with concerning texts and calls from a few (most likely just wanting all the juicy details of what happened), a few hellos here and there, and then a complete halt.

Some became enemies (not by my choice), others turned into strangers and acquaintances. Only a limited few remained genuine and kept building a friendship with me. I found it fascinating actually. It made me reevaluate the term friend. My thought and description of a friend evolved. It also helped me take a look at myself and put myself in check to assure I do not become a "friend of circumstance" to those I've formed bonds with. So with this experience (which I am grateful for), I am able to share with you what you should look for in a friendship.

A friend is unconditionally there for you without biases or hidden agendas. 

Someone you can rely on. They do not have to speak to you everyday or frequent for that matter, but if you do need them for anything, if it is within their means, they will be there. And even if they cannot be there for you in that moment, they offer whatever resource they can to assist you even if it's just lending their ear.

A friend is with you through all the motions.

Filled with joy for your moments of triumph, will mourn with you in moments of defeat, and will stand with you and be that rock while you pick up the pieces.

A friend not only cares about you.

They care about your surroundings and who you allow into your life.

A friend has your best interest at heart.

They will be honest with you even if the truth is not what you want to hear in that moment.

A friend will pour into your spirit.

They will pray for you and encourage you during your walk with God.

And you will be all that to your friend as well.

As you grow and mature, it is less about who is going with you to get your nails done, go out for drinks with, who is down to be your backup in a confrontation or who is there to listen to all your tea. It is more so about who will remain when the seasons of your life change.

I am so grateful to have a handful of people that I can call genuine. For those who faded from my journey, I hold no anger or malice towards them. I am also grateful to have had that learning experience. They have surely helped me in my growth as well and my smile is still genuine in passing if I happen to see them.

What is your definitions of a friend? How is your friendship dynamic changed over the years? And what have you learned from it?

Genuine Vs. Jealousy Vs. Compassion: Being Happy For Your Friends

Photo Credit: QREV Production

Have you ever prayed for something in your life and in that same season your friend receives exactly what you have been longing for? It's happened to me. In one situation, I remember, I felt a sense of overwhelming joy, sadness anger, and excitement all at once. I was joyous for my friend, but was screaming "What about me!" on the inside. If this has happened to you, do not get down on yourself as it is human nature to sometimes get this way BUT as critical thinkers, when faced with negative emotion, we must question why we feel the way we do and counter how to evolve from it.

Recently I received great news from a friend and I screamed in joy when she called me to share. All smiles, grinning from ear to ear, I sung praises of encouragement and pressed on making plans to celebrate. As soon as the call ended, I sat in my car for a few moments as it sunk in that she received something I was praying for. In silence, I walked into the house, went straight to the bathroom, and shrieked with tears of anger. I calmed down, washed my face and sulked for the remainder of the day.

"Why not me" was the song I sang. "I've wanted this longer", I complained. And after these words were repeated in my mind for the millionth time, I stopped to question, why do I even feel this way? Should I feel a sense of guilt for raining on my friend's parade? Or should my friend have been a little more compassionate when sharing the news with me as she knew I wanted the same for myself?

I believe there is a balance between the two. As friends, we should celebrate and share our successes with each other. At the same time, we should be considerate in the manner in which we share our good news especially to our friends that may want the same for themselves. Now some of you may say, "Why should I tone down my happiness for the sake of my friend's feelings? I worked hard to get here. She should just be happy for me and keep grinding to get to where she needs to be". But take into consideration that your friend may have been working just as hard and may not have the same opportunities, connections or platform that you do. Not everyone with the same dream is afforded the same opportunities. Be tactful in how you share the advances in your life and also offer to be of assistance to your friend to help her get to where she needs to be since you have completed the path to get there.

Now for the friend who has received the other end of the stick, do not downplay the success of your friend because she has reached a height that you are still climbing towards. Be genuinely happy for her and offer encouragement. At the same instance, make time to sit down with your friend and be honest about how you feel. The worst thing you can do is smile in someone's face and complain behind their back. Because if word comes back to your friend that you've been upset because of her success, you will be perceived as not genuine and "fake".

How do you think friends should handle each other's success that they may want for themselves? Can you relate? What are techniques you have used in handling this type of situation. I want to hear from you.

Growing Pains: How To Move Forward From Loss

We are almost halfway into the year. "Time flies" is more than just a saying. It seems as if this life moves rather swiftly. We are born, and in the blink of an eye, we can be off onto the next journey beyond this current reality. As humans, our time on this earth has been short relative to how long this planet is estimated to have existed.

As we come and go, one thing we haven't quite gotten the hang of is loss. Particularly loss of life. It has been occurring since the beginning of time but yet it hits hard every instance we lose someone. Death is an end that is coming for everyone but yet is something that we are never prepared to accept.

I am not here to show you how to accept death because that is something I have far from mastered, but I can share how I move forward when I endure a loss.

No matter how many times it happens, sheer concentrated emotion envelopes our being each time someone who was once in our world leaves us (Now when I say "world" I don't mean in the literal sense. Everyone has their own world that they are living in. But I will elaborate more on that in a future post). We are in disbelief, shock, we say words like, "gone too soon", "I can't believe it", "this hurts so much". We cry for days, weeks, months even. That person not being there makes us feel as if they took a piece of us with them. To be blunt, it sucks. How do we keep going when that person does not have that opportunity? Over time, after the tears and pain, I have found a few techniques to move forward from loss.

Talk About It

I think the biggest mistake I make when I am upset or hurting is keeping those emotions bottled inside. Find someone to confide in. Talking about your pain and how you feel kick starts the process towards healing.

Prayer

When I find no one else understands, I know God who created everything will most definitely understand my hurt. Though I can't hear a voice speaking back to me, I feel a sense of peace after I pour my soul and place it at the feet of God. I metaphorically drop it all there and walk way with the faith that life will get better. Faith plays a big role towards positive outcome.

Write 

Writing is my number 1 outlet (hence this blog). I have been writing in a journal since the age of 9. There are so many benefits to journal writing. You are able to release everything onto those pages. Things that may be hard to say aloud. Journal writing can also bring clarity. After you write everything out, after a few days go back and reread what you wrote and compare how you felt then to how you feel now. You may be able to answer possible questions you posed or understand yourself better in doing so.

Celebrate Their Life

Celebrate the life of your loved one through your life. Talk about everything you loved about that person, reflect on what he or she instilled in you, start a project or foundation in that person's name. These are a few ideas that will keep their memory alive long after they're gone.

Continue LIVING

As hard as it can be, no matter how you are feeling at the time, life will still continue regardless and the world will keep spinning. Cherish your journey on this earth and make the very best out of it. Do what makes you happy as long as you are not hurting others, your body, or your spirit in the process. I say that because temporary "feel goods" like drugs, alcohol to the point of drunkenness, etc, are never a way to cope or help you move forward in a positive way. Reach for success, form healthy friendships, bond with your family, cultivate your dreams, help others, make your mark on the planet. Let your time here be a beautifully productive one.


I hope these techniques are helpful. Know that in your pain there will be healing to follow so instead of allowing yourself to drown in your sorrow, push yourself to take the steps to move forward.

If no one has said it to you today, I love you as a human being, you will be okay, your life will blossom beautifully, yes from time to time you will endure pain, but if you are willing to press on, you will overcome it as well.

I Am 30, Hear My Roar! Tips For The Grown Woman

I make 30 look good! Yup I said It!

It finally happened. That moment I was half dreading and half looking forward to. I turned 30. Reaching this milestone of course brings automatic reflection of my life thus far. I thought about my childhood, my upbringing. I thought about the all time highs and the devastating lows up until this point. I thought about my dreams, plans and deadlines I set for myself and if I reached them. In thinking about all this I realize I have so much to do. Taking the time to look back when I was in my 20's, I wish I could have been given some direction by the 30 year old me. But now that I'm here, I'd like to give the present me advice that I believe the me in future would provide. I also extend this advice to you:

You have so many interests and talents but find your passion in the one that drives you and cultivate it:

If you're anything like me you have multiple dreams. Many things career wise that you want to accomplish. Sometimes when you focus on everything at once, they all suffer because you aren't able to master your craft. Pick the talent that gets your gears going and nurture that. Once you're successful in it, you will have the financial freedom to dabble into the others.

Make No Room For "Frenemies".

I know you know what I'm talking about. That one female that doesn't like you but stay trying to keep up with your life. We women tend to speak in code and we pick up on shade quickly. If you sense she's not genuine, cut her off! Trust your instincts. There is no room for negativity. You are filled to capacity with positive things so have that frenemy move out of your way and let you rise!

If you're unhappy about something, stop dwelling and change it!

As women, we are always picking at ourselves. Our looks, our weight, our hair, etc. And we will just sit and complain and get down on ourselves and cry. You know you've been there! Shoot I've definitely been there! You don't like something, get up and begin the change! Whether it's exercising to slim the waist down or lift the butt up! Or researching the best diet for clear skin. Maybe you are not happy about your career or financial status. Meet with a financial planner. Brainstorm on how to get to the next level in your career and execute steps to get there. Your problems are only a solution away! 

Stimulate Your Mind

Just because you've graduated doesn't mean learning ends. The world is full of so much knowledge. Don't wait for a news broadcast to get you hipp to your surroundings. Read books, watch tutorials, participate in discussions, get involved in your community, stay on top of current events. Keep your mind active. Remember once your mind starts slipping, the body will follow.

Travel

Budget in Traveling. Don't limit yourself to your backyard. There is a world to explore. Different cultures to experience. Adventures to be had! As cliche as this may sound, you only have one life to live so live it!

Surrender To Love But Don't Settle

I am a hopeless romantic. But in being that, in the past I was that "we gotta make it work no matter what" girl. The "I may not be happy but we've been together this long" chick. The "What will people think if this doesn't work" lady. The "I gotta keep up appearances to save face" woman. UMMMM This grown woman don't play that game anymore. In being hurt in a relationship we can come off bitter and put up a wall. But I challenge you to be open to love when it comes your way. BUT never settle for anything less than the man of your dreams! Don't ever feel like you're trapped or care what people think if it doesn't work out. Hold your head high and live babygirl! 

Love Yourself!

We hear this all of the time but do we really take heed to the advice? Learning to truly love yourself is a process. I always say it like this, "I love me. Everything about me and all the things that make me, me. And if I feel something about me isn't quite there yet, I'm going to enjoy making the awesome me, even better". The combination of your features, personality and characteristics make you unique. Own the fact that there is no one on this earth like you and you can only get better.

Take Care Of Your Body

In our teens and 20s we got away with the hot cheese chip snacks, the bag of gummie bears and going for seconds at the BBQ. At 30 your body will be begging you to stop the madness. So STOP! If you haven't yet started, create healthier eating habits. Try new foods that are not only good for you but taste amazing. Explore your culinary palette. Once you educate yourself on what those crazy snacks do to your body, you'll never crave them again (most times).

Don't Play The Comparison Game

You know the game. He has this, She has that, They have this, Do I have it too? Girl stop. One of my motto's is "I am the only one running my race and if I spend even one second looking over at someone else's marathon over there, I will trip and bust my ass during mine". Don't compare your life to others. It's a waste of time and a hindrance to your own journey. You'll end up taking longer to get to your finish line instead of enjoying your win sooner.


Those are a few key points I will make sure to execute for the remainder of my life (which prayerfully will be another 1000 years). I hope these tidbits help you throughout your journey as well.

Now go live!