I know I'm going to be asked, "How is he?", "Where is he?", "What happened?" I can already feel the strain on my fists and my jaw as I clench them tight after each question.
But after having to politely excuse myself from this uncomfortable situation once again, I've realized this is not about him. It's not about what happened with him, it's about what happened with me.
How am I? Where am I? What happened to me? I look in the mirror and I don't even recognize this person. I lost myself. I lost my voice. I lost what makes me, me.
It's not about him. I have nothing negative to say about him. He is a beautiful lesson. An instrument to my growth. A test of my strength. He, it, I. It doesn't matter anymore. What matters is now. Time to go find myself and walk in faith every step of the way.
Let the search party commence...
Gess laugh, Gess live, Gess love...
So strange that I had a dream about you last night. And in that dream you were still you. Still all smiles, still funny, still the happy Gess. Being lost doesn't last forever, although it may feel like forever. Meditate on it. You'll find your way my dear.
ReplyDeleteThank you my dear. Appreciated
ReplyDeleteI love this. You're fabulous, as always.
ReplyDelete