Not Your Average Model Size: Introducing My Fashion Site! (Insert enthusiastic scream here)

Photo Cred: QREV Production

I did it. I launched ShopGesphania.com. A website I have been envisioning for quite some time but initially did not imagine it to be a reality. I wanted to build myself as a brand. Merging all of my passions into one. Writing, media and fashion. Sharing my style with the world and incorporating my personal experience with each item. The sole model of said website, me. No searching for that 5'7", 100 lbs beauty that most boutiques choose to promote their brand. Just the 5'0" 140 lbs queen that is myself.

My first photo shoot session was quite nerve wrecking. I was filled with emotion as I tried on each outfit analyzing my every inch. I am not model size... not in weight or in height, I thought. Would my face be good enough for my target audience?, I pondered. Do I even look good in these clothes? All my insecurities spilled out and with each snap I became more nervous. My photographer did not share the same sentiment. He showered my posture, look and overall appearance with compliments. At first, I thought, building my confidence with compliments was part of his job to bring the best out of me, but after I took a peak at myself on his camera, I began to see what he did. I began to see my not so average model size is the perfect fit.

I find this whole process interesting because up until 2 years ago, I was that 100 lbs slim beauty (minus the height). I used to complain about being too small for my age and I wanted to join "Team Thick" so badly. For years I compared my body to others and tried to attain what I thought was beautiful. Now that I've reached my goal weight, I have moments when I'm wondering if I'm too big. Definitely an eye opening realization that beauty truly begins with accepting yourself for who you are no matter the size and striving to become the best version of you. Certainly grateful for this self awareness.

With that, I am proud of the woman I am, and the woman I am growing into. I am very excited to share more of myself with you through my passions. Make sure to visit ShopGesphania.com and leave a comment on the Love Wall. I appreciate all the encouragement, love and support!