Being Healed From The Flames Of Church Folk

I never thought I'd seriously be part of another congregation again. And this is coming from someone who has been part of the church and Christian faith since birth. I loved going. Being apart of a spiritual family, a community. But after a few horrible experiences from not only church members but church leaders, I shut down and backed away slowly.

Now my plan was never to walk away from God, but I was unknowingly doing so by partially feeding my spirit. I say partially because yes I read The Word on my own, downloaded daily devotional apps (My favorite is Saved In The City), registered with an online faith based study course that had an assessment at the end of every lesson, attended bible study here and there at my family's church... Your girl thought she was all set! But I was still sinking. I felt as if I was drained.

My main issue was trusting people again. I thought, how can I sing, share, participate in ministries with people that may potentially hurt me in the end? I used to be so active in the church. Choir was my favorite. I could sing to the Lord all day long. Dancing was my 2nd spiritual outlet. I wouldn't let anything deter me from going to service. Come rain or shine, whether I had a car, had to take the bus, or walk sometimes, I was there. How did I fall so far? How did I allow the mistakes of man, the mistakes that I made myself, hold me back from being apart of the body of Christ? That is what a church is, and we are all pieces of that body. And each piece is essential to the body functioning properly.

In reflection, I've come to learn, the church is not full of perfect people. It is full of imperfect people seeking guidance from a perfect God. This means, even though most times we mean well, we can and will make mistakes. We may do horrible things to one another. And none of us is exempt from falling. But there is strength in numbers and as a member of a church you have people that can hold you accountable and that you are held accountable to. You have people that can stand with you, and remind you of God's promise when you are discouraged. You have people that can pray for you through the tough times. This is what I was missing in walking away from The Body.

I was hurt by someone in my former church (as some of you may know), and didn't go back for months. Then I moved away. Out of the state. I haven't been a devoted member of a church since I moved over two years ago, but I am taking that first step and beginning my journey to find a church home that can refill my spirit. 

If you are going through a similar situation, if you left your church because of hurt that someone else caused you, or you are embarrassed by a mistake that you have made, as long as the church doctrine is scripture based, I implore you to go back. As hard as it may be, as embarrassed as you may feel at the moment, as angry as you may be, go back. And if The Truth is not being taught where you were, as in, if the teachings are not bible based, start looking for and seeking God's direction to lead you where you need to be.

For those of you that have never been to a church, used to go to church as a kid but just stopped as you got older, or identify yourself as having no faith, what I am saying may be foreign to you. You may believe there is no God but yet from time to time you find yourself feeling lost or empty or feeling like something is missing. You've been depressed or sad before and are not quite sure why. You do right by others, are nice, and your definition of bonding is hanging with friends and getting "nice" together at the bar. Or maybe you feel like there is some higher power out there and are spiritual, but don't identify with a particular faith. If you fall into any of these categories, I challenge you to go to church just to see what it's like. It may just change your life.

I look forward to where God will lead me. I put it all in His hands and am excited to experience what will manifest from my faith during this continued journey of life. And I press forward.