Genuine Vs. Jealousy Vs. Compassion: Being Happy For Your Friends

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Have you ever prayed for something in your life and in that same season your friend receives exactly what you have been longing for? It's happened to me. In one situation, I remember, I felt a sense of overwhelming joy, sadness anger, and excitement all at once. I was joyous for my friend, but was screaming "What about me!" on the inside. If this has happened to you, do not get down on yourself as it is human nature to sometimes get this way BUT as critical thinkers, when faced with negative emotion, we must question why we feel the way we do and counter how to evolve from it.

Recently I received great news from a friend and I screamed in joy when she called me to share. All smiles, grinning from ear to ear, I sung praises of encouragement and pressed on making plans to celebrate. As soon as the call ended, I sat in my car for a few moments as it sunk in that she received something I was praying for. In silence, I walked into the house, went straight to the bathroom, and shrieked with tears of anger. I calmed down, washed my face and sulked for the remainder of the day.

"Why not me" was the song I sang. "I've wanted this longer", I complained. And after these words were repeated in my mind for the millionth time, I stopped to question, why do I even feel this way? Should I feel a sense of guilt for raining on my friend's parade? Or should my friend have been a little more compassionate when sharing the news with me as she knew I wanted the same for myself?

I believe there is a balance between the two. As friends, we should celebrate and share our successes with each other. At the same time, we should be considerate in the manner in which we share our good news especially to our friends that may want the same for themselves. Now some of you may say, "Why should I tone down my happiness for the sake of my friend's feelings? I worked hard to get here. She should just be happy for me and keep grinding to get to where she needs to be". But take into consideration that your friend may have been working just as hard and may not have the same opportunities, connections or platform that you do. Not everyone with the same dream is afforded the same opportunities. Be tactful in how you share the advances in your life and also offer to be of assistance to your friend to help her get to where she needs to be since you have completed the path to get there.

Now for the friend who has received the other end of the stick, do not downplay the success of your friend because she has reached a height that you are still climbing towards. Be genuinely happy for her and offer encouragement. At the same instance, make time to sit down with your friend and be honest about how you feel. The worst thing you can do is smile in someone's face and complain behind their back. Because if word comes back to your friend that you've been upset because of her success, you will be perceived as not genuine and "fake".

How do you think friends should handle each other's success that they may want for themselves? Can you relate? What are techniques you have used in handling this type of situation. I want to hear from you.