My Baby Elevated My Hustle

Written August 27th & 28th

Published August 31st

The moment I saw those two pink lines my priorities shifted. My hopes transformed into determination. I have to win.I have to succeed in all I do. No more selling myself short or undervaluing my work. There is now a life on the line. A life that we are responsible for. Since that moment, I have been brainstorming, rearranging, planning, gathering and creating a timeline for all the steps of my multi entrepreneurial journey. 

 The 1st step I took is deciding to showcase my personally selected clothing, jewelry & accessories on my website via social media live sales once this precious bundle of joy is born. This is something I’m very excited about because it embodies the message of my online store, “My Style & Story Shared With You”. I’ll be able to connect with my clientele on a more personal level and share myself with them deeper than a webpage. PLUS I’m designating my other page to also exclusively showcase the fabulously known $5 PAPARAZZI JEWELRY as an independent Consultant for my clientele that love to sparkle and shine on a more fixed budget. I’ve been shopping with my chosen consultant for a year now and decided to join her team after being satisfied with every piece I received. So I’m ecstatic that I get to showcase my own selected paparazzi pieces! 

Daily I’d go through my vendor list and pre order inventory for both stores in every category that I plan on showcasing in the fall. All the while I have this little nugget in the forefront of my mind as he rolls and kicks waiting for his debut. I want him to have everything I didn’t. I want to give him the time and love that he deserves. I want to be the very best version of myself so he can have the space to grow into who he needs to be. 

Though I’ve been determined in business, I admit the knowledge of mybaby boy has elevated my hustle. As I write this I’m laying in my hospital bed in Labor & Delivery. Each sentence quickly being expressed between contractions. MY GOODNESS THESE CONTRACTIONS! With each burst of unimaginable pain all I think to myself is he has to come out and this is the process of making that happen. I look forward to when this epidural kicks in! 7cm in, I’m almost there! My mind keeps toggling between the here and now, and all I’m planning to secure his future.

I just want him out so I can walk out the door with him and execute our plans. I know it’s not necessarily going to go exactly that way as healing, recovery and getting into a solid routine has to happen first. Plus I have to get my body back. Actually more so embrace the new mommy body I am about to receive and sculpt it the way I desire it to be. I’m up for the challenge. As I evolve and transition into a new season, my clothing pieces will reflect that as well. I look forward to going through the journey with you all. 

My baby boy will be out soon I hope. It’s time to push. I have to focus. Time for me to sign off until then. Stay tuned and keep a look out for my live social media sales on Facebook and Instagram plus my other projects to follow in the next few weeks (or month lol I know I’m pushing the timeline. I’m just eager to get started). Until then, shop my websites!:

Boutique: www.shopgesphania.com

Paparazzi $5 Jewelry: www.jewelnationpink.com

Love & Light,

Gesphania (New Mommy) 

Update: After 30 minutes of pushing later... I’m officially a mommy. He’s so perfect! The most amazing feeling 💙

GOODBYE JOB, HELLO CAREER!

Sweater Dress from www.shopgesphania.com

For years I dreamed of the day I would leave that 9-5. That corporate hustle working for some anonymous millionaire. I would go into somewhat of a progressive trance, envisioning my last day. How I would walk out humbly but internally would be doing back flips. Well my Rising Roses, that day has finally come. This lady right here is an official full time entrepreneur.

It has been a long time coming.

Days, months and years of waiting for the right moment to take that leap. The perfect strategy to execute. I was patient. I waited, waited some more, and became comfortable in just waiting. Until it hit me that the right moment would never come and there's no true perfect strategy. You just have to make a decision and go with it.

I started packing my desk weeks ahead.

My spirit was pulling at me and screaming "time is up Gess! The time is now!" By the time the decision was made, I didn't even need one box for my things. I just had my jacket, my purse and the huge grin I was attempting to hide as I walked out of that building. The building that I had no future in. The building many of my now former co-workers claimed as their own, using phrases like "We have made 2 billion this year". While in my head I always would rebuttal, "No THEY have made 2 billion this year".

I'm not made for the 9-5

Not that there's anything wrong with those who do love to work for a company. Companies would fail without employees. Nothing would get done. People would hate speaking to an automated system and the world would probably blow up in anger and chaos because of it. So I have much respect for the 9-5ers.

For those like me who want to march to the beat of their own drum, I encourage you to go for it. Whatever you're passionate about and want to share with the world, go make it happen. There isn't a perfect moment to seize the day. You only have one day that's yours at a time. Tomorrow may be too little too late.

What am I doing now you may ask?

• I am continuing to build my fabulous fashion website www.shopgesphania.com 
• I am officially a certified wedding consultant (your girl was low key in school) and plan to use this passionate skill to further build our Bridal Boutique Storefront and wedding decor service www.susesweddings.com
• I also will continue to let my artistic side flourish as the 2nd photographer for our Production business, QREV Production

Does this make me a serial entrepreneur?

Nevertheless, I am going for all that I love, all that I look forward to waking up to, all that is worth my time. It's about living your BEST life. Do not settle for less. I've said this so many times and I will continue to remind you to keep striving towards the accomplishment of all your DREAMS.

So I say cheers to living your best life. Go live it. I believe in you!

Love & Light

Update: NEW Season NEW Arrivals! ShopGesphania.com

It's been about 3 months since my self titled fashion website was launched (insert happy dance here). I have been a busy bee since then connecting with vendors, scheduling photo shoots and just learning along the way. With the fall/winter season here I have just added some new items!

During this season I like to dress a little darker. Solid dark blazers are my go-to add on. I've added both Navy and Wine blazers to the collection. You can rock them with jeans and a simple tee, add flair to your business attire over a black blouse and slacks, or throw it over a mini dress for a night on the town.

Following my collection, you will soon notice my love of jumpsuits. I choose a Jumpsuit when I don't feel like figuring out what top should go with what bottom. It's a complete outfit in itself and all I have to focus on is what shoes to wear with it. There will always be one or two jumpsuits in each season. My new jumpsuit love is the Bond Jumpsuit. What pulled me in was the one side lapel! Gives that "I'm holding a blazer over one shoulder look but I'm so not". Fits in all the right places! I don't see this jumpsuit staying available for long. I'm already selling out of some sizes.

I think my favorite add of this season's collection are the Ora Dresses. Comes in three colors: Wine, Nude, and Black. I love the fit and solid material. Two elements of this dress pulled me in. The first is the Front & Back Half-Wrap Overlay. In my transformation from being a skinny mini to "Slim Thick", I have acquired a new ASSet (pun intended), my booty. Some dresses make it look too accentuated so the Half Wrap tones it down but still gives that slight sexy appeal.

There will be more styles to come! With winter approaching we will be entering the season of SPARKLE so look forward to that soon!

As always thank you for taking the time to read and make sure to show me some LOVE in the comments section and on my LOVE WALL (<---click there) on my fashion site (I'm kind of bummed cause I moved the wall to a different section and didn't know that would delete ALL the previous comments... :( !... BUT nonetheless I appreciate all the encouragement I've been shown thus far! It means so much!

Dream Big
♥ Gesphania

Why Wearing A Head Wrap Is Appropriate In ALL Settings

Photo cred: QREV Production

A couple weeks ago I met up with a few close friends for dinner. While enjoying our meal and catching up, one of my friends stated, "I could never go to work in a head wrap." Then my other friend nodded in agreement. I paused in reflection for a moment trying to understand why they feel they can't wear one to work and I can. I work in the corporate world just like they do so what is the difference between them and me? Then it clicked. They FEEL they can't. They THINK it will be viewed as unprofessional. I thought maybe if the significance of this fashion statement were explained, those who have reservations about wearing it in the professional sense would be more confident in doing so.

The head wrap has been apart of African culture for centuries. Over the years it has symbolized spirituality, modesty, prosperity, wealth and social status in African society. In the United States during the era of slavery, though slave masters imposed it on their female slaves as a badge of enslavement, slaves regarded head wraps as a symbol of their true homeland, Africa. A reminder that they do not belong in the land of their captors. It is also functioned as a uniform of rebellion signifying their fight to never forget where they have come from.

Being integrated in society, it is important that we never lose sight of our history. Over time through different psychological strategies, we are being conditioned to simply forget about the plight of our ancestors. They want us to blend in, accept the cards life has dealt us through their hand, and be a good non-threatening black person. Any inkling of black pride or culture association may make them uncomfortable. And because these truths are so deeply rooted, we sometimes say things like, "I could never go to work in a head wrap", though it is apart of our identity.

I take pride in wearing my head wrap and it is a look that is appropriate for any setting. Just because other cultures may not understand the look or the majority in the corporate world are not wearing them, does not mean we have to hide who we are to ease the comfort of our colleagues. Own who you are and where you came from. Acknowledge your history and it's beauty. If we do not make effort to keep some of our culture's traditions alive, our future generations will not have a clear understanding of their identity. So go ahead and wear that wrap!

Food for thought

French Braid? Dutch Braid? No It's Actually an African Braid

Photo Cred: QREV Production
Earrings: Kadokele

"What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun." A bible reference my mother has reminded me of many times growing up. And so far this saying has been proven true time and time again. From fashion trends to hairdo's, society finds new ways to reinvent what's already been done and call it something different to intrigue the masses.

Recently I've noticed, braids have become popular. Not by the Africans that have worn them forever, but more so by the Caucasian population, particularly, white women have fallen in love with the braid. What's interesting is it's celebrities of European decent that have brought attention to the not so new trend. I read a a statement from a white hairstylist stating "The French Braid is all the Rage". I thought to myself, "French braid? Why do they even call it that?" The title of the French, Dutch or any Euro heading for the three strand hairstyle is perplexing to me considering there is nothing European about it at all.

Braids emerged quite some time ago in the northern part of Africa. The earliest evidence of the style is found in the Tassili n'Ajjer mountain range in Algeria. There, rock art depicting women wearing rowed braids dates back almost 6000 years, For those of you who need a visual of exactly where that is:

The reality is braids were made popular by black people. I remember as a child being bombarded with questions from the inquisitive minds of my white classmates as to why my hair was quote, "twisted up like that all the time" because the intricate styling of braids were foreign to their lifestyle during that period. So even at that age, I recognized that braids were a thing of afro-culture. With that being pretty obvious, why is any style of braid given a title anything other than African? 

My take, many things of African culture have been stolen or downplayed to take the light off of the fact that we have contributed a majority of innovations to this world as far as we can document. Concepts, principles, inventions, religion, fashion, style etc have been brought to fruition and pioneered by Africans. Due to a world where we were once of as thought of less than human, any positive contribution that we made was hidden. To title something as French, Dutch, or Euro was easier to accept by white society. 

I know some of you may say the name is not a big deal but the smallest change in our history alters the perception for future generations. It is crucial for our black boys and girls to be fully educated on who they are and the importance of their people's existence and contribution in every aspect.  

Now I have no issue with white people wearing braids. Beautiful things are meant to share. Just make sure next time you hear someone say, "I love your French braid", smile and politely say "Thank you it's actually an African braid. French braids don't exist." A small mental seed can go a long way.

Weave- Esteem

It seems like I've been on a hiatus for a few months. I haven't been in hiding. I've just been focusing on myself. Seeking God for direction and working on my growth in every aspect. Though I am truly grateful for each day God has afforded to me, and the smile on my face is genuine, a part of me was going through a process of hurt. It took me to pay attention to even the most miniscule characteristic to identify and realize that I was still hurting.

In this life trials come. We can't avoid it, we can't hide from it, we can't even escape from our problems. Running from problems just prolongs the process of resolution. My previous preferred method was either running from or masking my issues with things.

One "mask" I used was weave. Long, shiny, beautiful tresses sewed onto my hair in different hues and colors that I clearly was not born with. I was born with a full head of hair. It was medium long, black and shiny. I remember loving the way it looked. Dolling it up with curls, feeling free with waves, getting sporty with ponytails, and sophisticated with up-dos. It wasn't until my third year of college that I was introduced to the weave world.

I found myself comparing my looks to those of other beautiful women. Wanting to look more like what I thought was appealing. Looking to receive acceptance, love and attention I figured if I changed my look, it would help me receive that love I was looking for. So I tried it. My first weave matched the color of my own hair. It was so long down to my hips, full with curls at the end. I seemed to love it and love seemed to look my way. My confidence rose, my happiness elevated, I thought I found the solution... until I was urged to explore more styles. Look different every few weeks.

So I explored. Different styles, cuts, colors, layers. All to feel that acceptance. In the meanwhile the tresses growing from my scalp were suffering. Each time I took out my weave waiting to add new weave, I was more disgusted with my real hair and thought I was quite hideous without it. How did that happen? I used to love my hair. How did I let low self esteem and self hate creep into my life? I did not even recognize it. I did not even know I was suffering from low self esteem.

On the outside I'm a pretty happy, upbeat, positive and social person. I have younger girls who look up to me and aspire to be like me which I find humbling. How was I able to convey so much positivity and carry such hurt unknowingly? It took me to be questioned about my weave and challenged not to wear it for me to realize how much importance I gave it. I made excuse after excuse as to why I needed the faux tresses on my head:

"It protects my real hair"
"It's an expression of my creativity"
"I like to keep things fresh and new"
"My hair could not possibly do all the hairstyles weave could do without falling out"
"My hair isn't the length I want so I'm wearing weave until it gets there"

And after all the excuses I was still challenged to go one day without it. So boldly I did. I convinced myself that it would make no difference with or without the extra locks... Until I looked in the mirror without them. Freshly washed, dried and styled I stared at my hair. My hair that suffered years of neglect. The once medium-long black hair was replaced by shorter stressed strands. I immediately hated what I saw and wanted a new sew in ASAP. With that reaction I realized I relied on artificial add ons for beauty. That feeling did not sit well with me.

I was taught as a child to love myself. That God created perfection when he created me. That's the mindset I always had... or at least I thought I had. This forced me to take a hard look at myself and learn to love myself all over again with the help of God. I got rid of the weave and poured love and care into my hair again. It surely was not easy. I faced my insecurity head on and let my creativity take over. I dabbled into new hairstyles as my hair grew back to life.

Now I'm at a point where I love myself completely. The high self esteem not only shows on the outside, but is also gleaming on the inside.

I've learned that it is impossible to gain something genuine like love from something cosmetic. Self esteem, love, joy, happiness comes from the confidence that God has placed inside of you and they maintain through continuous seeking of His word. No material possession can replace what you lack inward. Taking care of your mind, heart and spirit will in turn reflect on your outward appearance. 

Now I'm not bashing the women who do wear weave. There's nothing wrong with makeup, faux hair, jewelry and all the other glitters of beauty add ons. What's wrong is if one relies on these things to feel beautiful & accepted. It is a problem if you see yourself as unappealing without them as I once did. I am grateful to God I was able to break free. 

With that I'm happy to say (as cliche as it may sound) that I love me just the way God created me.

It's a great feeling